


first kiss

by ashensprites



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: F/F, YuYeon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21885400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashensprites/pseuds/ashensprites
Summary: soyeon struggles to write lyrics. she asks yuqi for help.
Relationships: Jeon Soyeon/Song Yuqi
Comments: 13
Kudos: 222





	first kiss

Cube trainee Jeon Soyeon has always found writing easy. There is, in her mind, nothing more straightforward than putting pen to paper and having her feelings flow through ink. Such is the simplicity of composition.

While she clearly holds talent in singing and rapping, and is famous for excelling in both, music composition, no doubt, is Soyeon’s forte. A fact acknowledged by trainers and trainees alike, artistes within and outside her company. Her CEO had so very generously provided her her own studio for this very purpose, giving her the creative freedom to do as she pleased. He certainly didn’t expect her to spend every waking hour in that tiny cubicle - or perhaps he did, Soyeon won't know, she can't read minds. But that's what she does, anyway, whenever she isn't in classes.

Her imagination often runs wild, her mind filling up with scenarios and thoughts, and just like that she comes up with the backbone of a story in five minutes, lyrics in ten. All she needs to do is select the right words and stitch them up in the right order.

Today is no exception - or at least it shouldn’t have been. It should have been just an hour in her everyday routine: dance lessons, vocal/rap practice, music composition classes, and another round of dance as a finale. In the gaps between classes, she would usually dash off to her studio, cooping herself up during the time set for lunch, furiously scribbling down words, recording herself singing melodies. She supposes the only difference today is that due to another trainee’s mistake during their dance lesson (Cho Miyeon, Soyeon thinks her name is, the newest trainee who's a bit of a klutz) their lunch break had been pushed back by a good number of minutes. This means Soyeon doesn't have the time to hide in her favourite five-by-three metre room.

This also means she is forced to organise her thoughts in the dance studio, fighting for inner peace among the decibels of noise naturally generated by fifteen tired, very hungry girls. It's impossible to think in this noise. Every word she writes is punctuated by the sound of secret snacks being munched on, or a trainee complaining that the trainers were too harsh, or - and this was the one Soyeon hates most - ripping into Miyeon for their delayed lunch break.

Just listening to a fellow trainee berate the poor girl has Soyeon’s hackles rising. She is overcome with an urge to shout back, stand up for Miyeon, obviously new and thus had no time to practice this dance that only she is learning for the first time. She would do it, she really would, but Jeon Soyeon isn't someone who usually raises their voice for someone she is not exactly very familiar with.

Fortunately, she doesn't have to.

“Hey, if you have time to scold a newbie, why don’t you go and practise instead? Miyeon-unnie wasn’t the only one who got scolded, you know!”

Trust and believe in Song Yuqi. That is what Soyeon believes. A cute face that belies a deep and soulful voice, an adorable smile that hides passionate anger when riled up. A girl who stands up for justice, a girl who wouldn’t ignore unfairness even if she was being threatened with a knife. A girl who now has her hands balled up into fists, poised between Miyeon and the other snarky trainee, daring the latter to fight back.

Even in a baggy sweater and pants that hide the shape of her body completely, she still somehow manages to look amazing. Or it could just be Soyeon's secret inner gay talking. 

Soyeon watches as the trainee sizes Yuqi up. “Hey, you foreigner-”

“Yes?” A quiet voice interrupts her. Soyeon swears the whole studio turned on its axis to look at the source of the new voice. Olive-skinned, black hair falling straight to cover half of an eye, dead glare murderous. Long legs that stretch themselves out, striding over to stand next to Yuqi. The whole world holds its breath as Nicha ‘Minnie’ Yontararak stares at the trainee, her eyes drilling holes into the girl. “What were you saying?”

The trainee falters. Minnie presses on. “Please, continue. You were talking to foreigners.” Her usually alluring voice cuts through the air like a well-sharpened knife, cuts into the trainee like sashimi.

“No, I-” The trainee (Soyeon really shouldn’t be calling the girl ‘the trainee’, but for the life of her cannot remember the girl’s name) wilts under Minnie’s stare. She steps back and takes a glance around the room. Silent. All eyes are focused on her. “I-I’m going to go get lunch.”

Everyone turns to Minnie. She stares at the trainee unblinkingly for another moment before dismissing her. “Go.”

The room sighs in collective relief when the studio door closes behind the trainee. Minnie and Yuqi incline their heads at each other before exchanging satisfied grins. Miyeon reaches out, tugging on their shirts. She bows in gratitude; both of them affectionately pat her head in return. 

Just like that, life continues on. 

And just like that, Soyeon returns to her paper half-full with black ink. She lifts her pen again, ready to write - but her mind is blank. White like the lower half of her notebook page. An incongruity. A sigh escapes her lips, a breath out quickly changing into a sharp inhale when a grey shadow falls across the paper. 

Curly hair the colour of fading autumn dances into view, brushing the surface of her notebook. Her head still half-buried in her book, Soyeon catches a glimpse of ratty sneakers being tucked under a pair of sweatpant-clad knees. "Hey." 

Soyeon pries herself away from her work to meet eyes shining with curiosity. "Hey yourself."

Freckled cheeks split by a wide grin. A steady gaze that hides itself behind crescents when the grin grows larger. Fingers that often find themselves in poodle-like locks, already twisted strands being further curled absentmindedly. 

Despite Soyeon's writing prowess, articulating Song Yuqi's beauty is an impossibility. 

Soyeon half-expects Yuqi to pry into her work (half-expects, she should really know better, Yuqi is curious but also polite, and reads Soyeon too easily for comfort) and so is just mildly surprised when the Chinese trainee offered her an open bag of chips instead of asking what she's doing. 

"Eat." 

Soyeon raises her eyebrows. "Where did you get that from?" 

Yuqi raises a delicate shoulder. So delicate that Soyeon thinks she has lost too much weight through her trainee years, bowed down by stress and unrealistic expectations. "Shuhua's secret stash," she says by way of explanation. 

Ah. Of course. A classic Yeh Shuhua maneuver. No one can best that Taiwanese trainee when it comes to snacking. It's a known secret that she has snacks, chips or candy or whatever else edible there is, hidden everywhere in their company building. The burning question is where she hides them, because the building has been turned inside out many times to sniff out these treasure boxes to no avail. 

(Soyeon suspects magic.) 

She plucks a chip from the bag, holding it by the tip of her long nails. "Thanks." She leans back and waits until Shuhua, a milk-pale teen with large doe eyes and luscious hair, makes eye contact with her before waving the chip in her hand. Shuhua flushes and grins, waving back. If she were a puppy rather than a human, Soyeon's pretty sure Shuhua's imaginary tail would be wagging.

Soyeon and Yuqi munch chips in comfortable silence, finding no need to make unnecessary conversation just to occupy the quiet air around them. That's how Soyeon knows she's found a good companion in Yuqi, when neither of them find it necessary to speak useless things into existence to fill the silence. Small talk is bothersome, anyway. 

Dusting off crumbs from her notebook, Soyeon looks down at her papers again. She twirls her pen in her hand, spending approximately twelve seconds of their shortened lunch break debating whether she can ask Yuqi this question. In the three seconds following that she decides it's not something that could possibly make or break a friendship, just a trivial thing that she could use an opinion on. 

(Or at least that's what she thinks.)

"Yuqi."

"Hm?" 

"Have you ever kissed someone before?" 

Yuqi turns to give her this confused, quizzical look that Soyeon finds somehow amusing. "What do you mean?" 

"Like, on the lips."

"I, um." Yuqi glances away, her cheeks taking on a pink tinge that Soyeon misses under the dim dance studio lights. "W-why do you ask?" 

"Oh, well, I'm sort of stuck on some lyrics." Soyeon taps her notebook with her pen, her lips curling in dissatisfaction. "It's about the feelings the singer gets during slash after their first kiss with their crush. Or first love."

"And you think I'd know?" Yuqi's words are biting, her tone suddenly harsh. Soyeon instinctively finches as if someone had raised their hand to hit her.

"I, I don't know. I mean, you're pretty, you're bound to have had a boyfriend or someone or such…" Soyeon's voice trails off, hesitant. Has she made a big mistake? Maybe Yuqi's last relationship was problematic and she's just triggered her. Maybe people keep bringing up this topic around Yuqi and she hates it. Maybe Yuqi's ace and Soyeon's being presumptuous. 

Whatever it is, Song Yuqi is now glaring daggers at her, not unlike what Minnie did to Unnamed Trainee. Its effect is amplified by the fact that lately, Yuqi has been putting tape on her forehead to stop herself from frowning. Today is the one day she chooses not to ease her forehead out with tape, and so the creases on her forehead are even more pronounced. Soyeon's gotten so used to her amicable, happier expression that this frown? This look, with eyebrows furrowed and irritated creases forming, is no short of terrifying.

"I'm sorry?" Soyeon ekes out. 

Yuqi, still glaring at her, gets to her feet and flounces off. Her shoes thunder across the wooden floor. 

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

The Unnamed Trainee timidly tiptoes back into the dance studio, only to hurriedly back out when Yuqi storms towards her. Yuqi completely ignores the trainee and leaves the room despite Minnie's repeated calls that they have other classes to attend to together. 

Bemused, Soyeon doesn't notice when her friend Seo Soojin settles down next to her. "What did you do?" Soojin asks in her tiny font voice.

Soyeon scratches the back of her head. "I don't know. I just asked her a question." 

"Yeah?" Soojin glances over at Soyeon, then down at her notebook, then back up at Soyeon. "What about?" 

"First loves. That sort of thing." Soyeon turns to Soojin, worry evident in her eyes. "You don't think I might have somehow insulted Yuqi, do you? I didn't intend on it, but it feels like I did."

"What were your exact words?" 

"I just asked whether she knew what it was like to kiss her crush, that's all. I mean, she's so cute, she's bound to have had a boyfriend before." Soyeon pouts and slouches where she sits. "Was I wrong?"

Soojin stares at her before a sigh escapes her lips. She closes her eyes (in frustration, maybe) and rubs at them with a hand. Soyeon briefly thinks the mole under her eye makes her look especially pretty, and reminds herself to convince Soojin not to remove it. "Oh, Soyeon."

"What?" Soyeon hunches over defensively, her body curling up like a threatened pill bug. 

"Oh my god, you're so dense, don't you know-" Soojin sighs again and shakes her head. She holds a hand up, palm facing Soyeon. "No, it's not my right to tell you." 

"Tell me what?" 

"I already told you I can't tell you, you idiot, don't tell me to tell you what I can't tell you." 

All these repeated words are making Soyeon's head spin. She wants to know whatever Soojin is keeping from her, please, especially since it clearly concerns Yuqi. But it's time for them to move on to their next class, and Soyeon won't be seeing Yuqi for a good number of hours. Not until their evening dance class. 

Soyeon promises herself to apologise to Yuqi then - and find out what Yuqi's hiding from her. 

//

Skin slick with sweat, maple-leaf hair tied up in a ponytail that swings left and right. Sneakers that squeak on the waxed floor and a smile that fades with eye contact. 

Soyeon regrets putting that expression on Yuqi's face. She once again understands (not understands, actually, but realises) she has done something to incur the younger girl's wrath. She needs to fix her mistake, and quick. 

When the other trainees start filing out of the studio, Soyeon runs and grabs Yuqi's arm. Her nails dig into Yuqi's flesh, blotching pale skin with rough red. "I need to speak with you." Her words are harried, slightly breathless - though that may be from hours of physical exertion, and not at all because of the wounded look on Yuqi's face that has Soyeon's confidence wavering. 

"What about?" Yuqi sounds… discomfited. And, if Soyeon isn't interpreting her tone wrong, a little terrified. 

(As if she is keeping a secret and it is about to be uncovered.)

"I want to apologise," Soyeon says. 

The other trainees have left the room. It's just her and Song Yuqi now in this empty sweat-filled studio with its dim lights and intimidating wall mirrors. Soyeon feels exposed with all these mirrors, her reflection wavering slightly in rectangles of glass. 

She wonders whether Yuqi feels the same way. Exposed, naked in some sort of way that is not physical but somewhere in her mind she is laid out bare for everyone to see except there is no one else here but Soyeon and so when Yuqi turns her body to fully face the shorter girl Soyeon doesn't know what she is expecting but Yuqi plops herself down in the centre of the dance studio and stares at her. 

"Okay." Yuqi gazes at her expectantly. 

"Okay?" 

"You wanted to apologise," Yuqi reminds her. 

"Oh. Right. I'm sorry." Soyeon doesn't know what she's apologising for, not exactly, but she does know she's hurt Yuqi somehow and she should definitely apologise for that. "Sorry for asking about, well, crushes and things like that. I didn't realise it was a sensitive subject for you, but it always had the potential to be, so I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Yuqi doesn't say anything for a while. Soyeon scuffs at the wood-tile floor with the edge of her shoe. It squeaks against the floor and fills the room with its echoes. Soyeon stares at her image in the mirror, stares at her staring at herself and back and forth and back and forth until she catches Yuqi's steady gaze in the mirror. 

( _Fuck, she's beautiful_. The second Soyeon thinks that she quickly glances away. Her ears are growing hot.)

"I'm sorry too." Soyeon's ears prick up. Did she hear that correctly? Why is Yuqi saying sorry? 

"You don't need to-" 

"I'm sorry for overreacting." Yuqi sighs and curls up into a ball akin to Soyeon under Soojin's withering gaze this morning. "I just… Romance and I don't go together very well."

Soyeon stares at her. She slowly sinks to the floor, crossing her legs underneath herself like a lotus flower. Yuqi suddenly seems very much like the young woman that she is, barely on the cusp of adulthood. Vulnerable, yet not fragile. Little strands of strength binding shards of porcelain together to form a pretty doll. Cracked, scarred, but standing stronger than ever. 

(It's the scars that make people strong, Soyeon thinks. Yuqi's strong, and Soyeon's not just talking about her biceps.)

"Do you want to talk about it?" Soyeon can't do much, but she hopes a listening ear would help. 

Yuqi chuckles. It's a dry sound, humourless and bitter."There's not much to talk about when you're gay in a homophobic country. Or two, now that I'm living here."

Oh. 

"I-I'm sorry," Soyeon says again. If she could somehow change the laws of her country for this gorgeous Chinese girl she'd have done it in a heartbeat. If she could make the world a little better, a little easier, a little bit more fair for Song Yuqi, Soyeon would do anything. 

(She hasn't yet figured out why. She hasn't even started wondering. Soyeon may be smart and sharp, but when it comes to matters of the heart, she couldn't be denser.)

"It's alright," Yuqi sighs. She tilts her chin and gestures at the book next to Soyeon. "How's the writing going?" she asks, wanting to change the subject. Soyeon lets her. 

"I got stuck." How frustrating. She's never gotten stuck while writing. Yet one word, one angry glare from Yuqi, and suddenly Soyeon's brain stops working. 

(It's almost as if Soyeon's world revolves around Song Yuqi. Even the slightest shift of her axis can lead to dire consequences.)

(Soyeon won't realise why for another couple hundred words or so.)

"Do you need help?" Yuqi is shifting closer to her, fingers brushing the notebook, anticipating her assent or dissent. 

Soyeon's usually quite protective when it comes to her work, but if her writer's block was caused by Yuqi, maybe she's the cure too. "Go ahead, read it if you want to."

Yuqi leafs through her notebook, flipping through pages. She pauses occasionally, reading and rereading before reaching the page Soyeon is working on. As she reads, a gentle smile blooms on her face. 

"As expected of Jeon Soyeon." Yuqi gives her a thumbs-up as she reads the last lines of the work-in-progress. "They're such beautiful lyrics. It makes me feel like I'm in love." 

"Yeah?" Validation has never tasted sweeter. Soyeon purses her lips, biting back a bashful grin. "If I could just finish the bridge, I think it'll be perfect."

Yuqi scans the first two lines of the verse again. She nods. "I think so too." 

"I think-" Soyeon breaks off, licking her lips nervously. This might be another presumptuous question, one that can definitely ruin their friendship forever. 

(Or evolve into something beyond; Soyeon's not entirely confident of either alternative.)

"I think," Soyeon tries again, hoping Yuqi doesn't see the red that burns the tips of her ears and paints her entire face the colour of a ripe tomato, "that maybe you can help me. With it."

"How?" Yuqi's voice is thick and husky.

(-has it always been this husky, or did it just grow deeper-)

"You could kiss me," Soyeon mumbles, her quiet words filling the space between them. 

"I could kiss you."

"Or I could kiss you."

"Or you could kiss me."

Drawn together by a gravity that lives in the gap between their fingers, a silence drowned out by hearts thunderous. Soyeon's gaze flits over Yuqi's lips, her eyes half-lidded. 

"Or we could just kiss."

"Or we could just kiss," Song Yuqi echoes seconds before she captures Soyeon's lips with her own. 

A first kiss.

Her first kiss. 

_Their_ first kiss. 

It's awkward, yes, but the right kind of awkward. Does that make sense? It does to Soyeon. Teeth grazing, heads tilting to find the right angles, hands that sort of hover around trying to make sense of themselves as they nibble and suck on each other's lips.

(Soyeon's hands end up digging ruts into the cold wooden floor as Yuqi's fingers finds purchase in her long hair.)

When they eventually have to part for a much-needed breath, Soyeon opens her eyes, blinking in mild disbelief. Song Yuqi stares back at her, dazed, lips swollen, stars dancing in her eyes. Her shadow is cast against the studio wall, dim light blurring the edges of her silhouette. Her chest is heaving. Her fingers, trembling, rise to touch her lips.

A word escapes through the gap in her fingers. "Wow."

Soyeon doesn't think the word 'wow' does what they just shared any justice. It's not something that she can just simply put into words. She can try, she dares to try and get the sentiment across in two lines or a whole song but even that barely scrapes the tip of the iceberg of the thoughts and emotions that ran through her mind during that kiss. 

Not for the first time today, Soyeon has been rendered inarticulate. When she manages to piece enough of her mind to formulate a sentence the first words that come out of her mouth are:

"I think I might be in love with you."

Song Yuqi grins. Her teeth are pearly-white. Soyeon can't stop thinking about how they felt nibbling on her lips. "Thank goodness," Yuqi says. "Because I've been in love with you since the day we started training together."

Soyeon stares at her. Slowly her words sink in. 

_Oh_.

"Can I kiss you again?" Soyeon asks, a bit too eagerly. "For research. I don't think I got it down the first time."

Yuqi's hearty chuckles resound through the studio. "Jeon Soyeon," she breathes against Soyeon's lips, mere inches away, "you can kiss me any time you want." 

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by one of @g_syro's tweets
> 
> follow the author at @ashensprites on twitter


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